It's Time We Women Are Honest That For A Lot of Men - Your Sexual Intimacy SUCKS! *NSFW

Dealing with the male ego is far more challenging than most want to believe. Because of this, it’s taken me some time to figure out how to write this peace...yes, PEACE, not piece. Because I need to clear the air, get some peace within, and try to wrap my mind around what has happened and what can be done to get it back.

I’ve pondered over it for close to a year now. Actually, it’s been longer than that since I first wanted to speak on the growing lack of care and intimacy in the bedroom these days. But, as time has passed, and after many intimate conversations with my girlfriends and my own personal experiences, it’s time to throw the doors open and go in with guns blazing about such a touchy, intimate subject.

Brothers – and I can only say brothers because that is only who I date – but brothers, for many of you…….YOUR FOREPLAY SUCKS!

Yep, you may as well, as I say, throw that monkey in the middle of the floor and let it do its dance. Because there is simply no easy way of saying it, past experience has shown me that having a “gentle” conversation about it does not encourage better results. There may be a slight change, but too often, it's only temporary, and then things revert back to before. And it’s not just the foreplay, but for some of you, the entire act of intimacy is akin to a chore you'd rather avoid. There is none. Instead, we women are being used as a means for our own personal release with total disregard for fulfilling our needs. Would it be easier to understand if we lay there and don't make a sound, don't move, and just let you do your business, like Mister in the Color Purple?

So now that THAT part is over, let’s begin.

Plain and simple, we women get together and discuss sex. The lack of true foreplay and intimacy is such that many of us now have turned to self-pleasure over having a man lay next to us in bed who does absolutely nothing to ensure we are satisfied sexually. Being unfulfilled when you have a breathing, able-bodied man lying next to you is one of the most frustrating feelings that there is. And yet, for some of us, me personally, I must say, I’d much rather have the spot next to me empty and cold than having to experience the disappointment that comes with minimal foreplay, selfish sex, and zero orgasms. Not only is it frustrating, but it also causes a great deal of resentment. No woman should get up from the bed angry about what happened between her and the man she loves. Especially when you look over at the culprit, and he’s snoring his ass off; meanwhile, your kitty barely even got warm before he was jackhammering and then grunting, followed behind, collapsing like he just finished dropping an engine off into a Sierra 3500.

I hear so many men talking about how she was fucking and sucking to get him, but once she’s locked him down, she barely lets him even sniff the kitty. Well, let me speak up and say that for a lot of women, we become tired of being disappointed in the bedroom due to the lack of intimacy. And yes, intimacy does start outside the bedroom, which is a whole other conversation, but we are talking about once the physical act begins and clothes start to depart.

I hear so many men blaming women for not being satisfied and stating that women must tell them what they like and be honest about what pleases them, and yet many of us do. It simply falls on deaf ears because so many men are programmed to believe that one size fits all or that because they look good or have a big stick, that is all that matters. For others, no matter what we say, the narcissist in them only truly cares about themselves. But then, too, being blatantly honest, too many brothers have watched way too much porn and use Rico Strong, Mr. Marcus, Rob Piper, Sean Michaels, Mandingo, and Flash Brown as their guide in believing if the women on the screen (acting) is loving it, then we must also. Don’t ask me how I know those names – believe I Googled them, okay?

For the vast majority of my adult life, I was a faker. And so, yes, I fault myself for some of this. There were extenuating circumstances that prevented me from having an orgasm, and so in my mind, since I knew it wasn’t the man’s fault, there was no need to punish him by letting him know his actions were not pleasurable. However, the crazy thing is that back then, all those years ago, men were more about doing all the things they believed a woman would find pleasurable. Men were far more sensual. Kissing wasn’t considered nasty (I don’t want to hear about the mouth being the filthiest place on the body, and yet you will try to stick your tongue in my ass if I let you). Or, one of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard – kissing too personal. Which is a thought process gleaned from a conversation between two prostitutes in the movie Pretty Woman. Yeah, go ahead and use two hookers to justify your thought process.

So, let’s back it up here. Remember in high school when you weren’t having sex yet? You and your boyfriend would spend hours on the couch, in the halls, at the movies, tongue-kissing until your lips were dry and your mouth was sore. Hickies found their way on your neck and even breast because he knew that sucking there would get you hot, and maybe – just maybe he’d be so lucky to slip his hand into your panties, and there he’d find wetness? 1st base. 2nd base. 3rd base. HOME RUN! Well, y’all kneegrows these days are entirely skipping all the bases, and way too often are hitting the ball, tossing the bat – running towards third, then making a U-Turn and trying to head back home. The phuck!!!

And may I add that having a big dick is like having a big Thanksgiving turkey. You still need to warm the oven up before you put it inside, and once it’s there, you check on it, baste it, and with patience for it to cook and the meat to fall off the bone. Simply put, we need you to take your time.

And before I continue with instructions—because yeah, I decided this article will have some serious heart-to-heart advice—but before I go on, let me say something a lot of you don’t want to hear.

She didn’t cheat because she wanted to. She cheated because your sex SUCKS!

It lacks intimacy; she isn’t being fulfilled because you’re selfish in the bedroom. She loves you and wants her man, and only her man, truthfully, but she is not pleased with what’s happening between those sheets. She is disappointed. She feels used. She’s not turned on. She hates having sex with you. Every time you reach over and touch her, it's a chore because she knows how it all ends. She’s faking orgasms to hurry up and get it over with. You’re pissing her off! Sometimes, she might even cry. Because she has a man lying in the bed next to her, but after it’s all said and done, she’s masturbating in the shower. She’s getting herself off in the car on her lunch break. She’s using her rose when you’re not home. She’s even a few times found herself in the handicap stall in the bathroom at work in search of release because YOUR SEX SUCKS!

But there is hope. I wouldn’t go so hard if I didn’t plan to give you the cheat code. Some of you know what I am about to say, but something inside you refuses to do it because your ego won’t let you. Or, for others, you’re too damn lazy to do more than tweak a nipple and then immediately try to push the dick into a hole still drier than an old caked donut sitting in the case at the corner gas station. And then, for even a great many, you don’t care. In your mind, you know that as long as you can get pussy anywhere, it doesn’t really matter because all that you care about is you. It takes too much time and effort, which you have no desire to put in when you know it takes next to nothing for you to get yours at the end of the day.

However, for those whose attention I have, let’s goooo!

As much as women have aligned with men in stating they don't kiss. Believe me when I say there are many of us who still crave the intimacy it brings. If this is your woman especially or someone you are with regularly, KISS HER! Kisses in the morning. Kisses in the middle of the day. Kisses in the car. Kisses in the store. Kisses at the door. Kisses before sex. Kisses as a means of foreplay. Kisses during sex. Kisses after sex. KISS HER!

Kiss her lips. Kiss her face. Kiss her forehead. Kiss the side of her neck. Kiss her ears. Kiss the back of her neck while you’re standing behind her. Run your tongue down the side of her neck – then gently bite. If her nipples don’t get hard, she doesn’t like men. No, change that…she doesn’t like humans. Throw the whole woman away. But regardless, kiss her. And then, tongue kiss her. Kiss her long. Lick the corners of her mouth. Suck her lips. Bite her lips. Then KISS HER some more.

Rub on her. Rub her back. Rub her arms. Rub her thighs. Run your hand over her chest. I said chest – not breast. We will get to that soon enough, Mr. Jack-Be-Nimble-Jack-Be-Quick. Slow your ass dowwwwn. That’s the problem! Throw away everything you’ve been programmed to believe a woman wants off watching Pornhub. Well, wait…nah, don’t throw it away because we do like a lot of that freaky shit…..but not EVERYTIME! Sometimes, it's sexy, though, for real!

But yes, rub on us. And for us women who have a fupa, if you really and truly do not care about that extra belly fat, please, by all means, rub on that, too! If you want a woman to get to the point where she will walk through the house and scramble cheese eggs for you in the morning time butt ass naked, make her feel secure by acknowledging that her belly fat is there, yes, but you don’t care about any of that shit, so RUB ON IT! Kiss her belly. Nibble and bite on it.

Now, are we ready to head into the bedroom? Everything I stated above can happen while standing in the kitchen three minutes after walking into the house with a 20-piece hot with lemon pepper sprinkles, a large fries, and two peach and lemonade drinks with no ice. You have no idea how much of a turn-on it is to kiss just to be kissing for this black woman. For most black women. But for time's sake, because we know how much y’all hate reading, we will head to the bedroom, although please know that sex outside the bedroom between commercial breaks is absolutely the best, too.

Question Break: What happened to men kissing a woman all over her body? Kissing and running his tongue from her neck (Please don’t stick your tongue in my ear. Nibble, yes. Tongue in my ear canal – no! Kissing and licking on her collarbone? Her shoulder? Her elbows. Her thighs? Flip her over and the small of her back. In the crook of her knees, all the way down to her ankles. What happened to a man nibbling all over while his hands roam all over her body? If it worked at 17, what makes you think it doesn’t work at 47? 57? 67? Trust me, it still works! And causes waterworks, at that!

Let me stop right here before I continue on this rambling wreck and shout that immediately going in for the kill by EATING PUSSY IS NOT FOREPLAY. Yes, it is a part of foreplay, but not the be-all-end-all of foreplay. We are so sick of men hopping in bed, sliding down to the edge, and going head first into the kitty as soon as the clothes come off. Dude, you missed a whole top half of pleasure! Nipples need love, too!!

Then after sometimes not even a full minute, they raise up, wanting to stick their dick in your mouth, and then the next thing you know, they are ready to rumble. So let me repeat again, but make it plain – EATING PUSSY IS NOT “THE” FOREPLAY! Yes, it’s a part of it, but we need mooooooore than that! And a great many of you are not even good at it. Yep, I said it…..

Now, where was I? Oh, we were rubbing. So while we are rubbing, may you please, also rub on the pussy while you're licking and kissing. And not roughly. Stop trying to jab your finger in and out like you're trying to caulk and seal a leaking crack in a pipe. Rub slowwww. Firm but gentle. Slowly. Rub it while kissing us. Rub it while nibbling on her neck. Rub it while sucking on her neck. Rub it while you’re kissing down her chest. Rub it while using the other hand to gently, not roughly, cup her breast. GENTLY, lick and suck on her nipple. Run your tongue around it. Bounce your tongue across it. Nipples are EVERYTHING to “most” of us women, and honestly, a great many can almost have an orgasm off having their nipples stimulated. Don’t believe me – I dare you to take a poll.

Ladies,

Ladies, how much does nipple stimulation turn you on?

• 0%Not at all
• 0%Extremely so
• 0%I'll probably pass out from pleasure

Yes, some women don’t care for having their nipples sucked, and I get that, like everything in life, one size doesn't fit all. However, the vast majority do. Hell, even a lot of men do. But we aren’t talking about you all. We are the selfish ones in this article. Cause we have earned it, dammit.

So yes, more nipple sucking and wet tonguing, please.

Cup both breasts with your hands and suck on them. Lick on them. Run your wet tongue around the nipples. Blow on them. Pinch them lightly. Tongue one and pinch the other. Massage them. I can guarantee you she will soon be breathing hard and squirming. Again, nipples are LIFE for us. And if we are riding you while you’re doing this……watch her implode in front of your eyes.

THIS that I am describing is what we women consider to be FOREPLAY! And if you know how to talk to us during this process, we might pop one off before you even penetrate. This is how those brothers who were not as “blessed” get women wide open. If your foreplay is off the chain, we give a shit about you having a Tickle Me Elmo.

You can re-insert belly kisses everywhere in here, especially if you grab each side while administering belly kisses. Oh, we squirming. NOW…..you can proceed south. If you want to tease her more, bypass the kitty and kiss the thighs. The knees. The ankles. Make her bend both of her knees and rub her thighs. Look at her. Tell her to open her eyes and look at you. Because you want her to watch you as you do what you’re about to do. Kiss her thighs and slowly move towards the kitty. Blow on the kitty. Lightly spank the kitty. Cup the kitty. Pat the kitty…..and then slowly move your face towards the kitty. Talk to the kitty. Now blowwww……slowwwww. Boy, you are acting like an old PRO now! Look at you, showing out with the foreplay. She’s probably biting the pillow right about now.

Hopefully, you know how to eat coochie, but if you don’t, inbox me, and I’ll write out step-by-step instructions, but checking my word count, we're close to 3000, so I need to wrap this thang up.

Now, after all, that which we call FOREPLAY…..here’s a word of advice.

Women are not made of concrete, so please stop going right into trying to jackhammer your way to an orgasm. Orgasms are built up for us. So while it only takes a few strokes for you all to nut, for us, it takes longer, and if you want to really send her to the moon, regardless of what position you’re in, a mixture of slow and fast, or starting off slow, and then gradually building is best. Slide in….breathe….now slowwwwlllllly, build it up. Use your HIPS and not just your dick! Do you know where the G-spot is inside a woman? That friction, along with our clitoris, is the magic release button. Figure out where hers is, and one way to do that is to either ASK HER (all that asking us, IS IT GOOD TO YOU BABY, is bullshit…..because we most times lie and say umm because we know your ego needs to hear this ). Instead, say, "Baby, talk to me. Tell me how to please you?”

YES! YES! YES! Ask her while you are inside of her. Ask her gently. Ask her softly. Ask her in a whisper. And also listen to her moan. Listen to her groans. Groan and moan with her. That is the biggest turn-on for us. TALK TO US and not with that Mr. Marcus gabber, but talk to us with love. With passion. Talk us through our orgasms. And when we say to you, “Baby, that’s it!” For the love of God, DO NOT CHANGE POSITIONS OR SPEED UP! When we tell you that’s it, for some reason, you think it’s JACK HAMMER TIME!

NO!! We are saying that you stay right there, keeping that same pace UNTIL we tell you otherwise. We will let you know if we want you to go faster or deeper. We women all agree that nothing pisses us off more than when we say, “Right there,” and 10 seconds later, you go and switch it up. “Right there” is your confirmation that you are exactly where we need you to be to get us to where we are trying to go.

Whew….that’s just about all I can write at the moment. I could go on, but it’s 11 at night, and I have work in the morning. I just needed to get this off my chest because it has weighed on me significantly over the last two weeks. As we women age, while men slow down sexually, we tend only to be just beginning. We want more of it, but not if it ends in disappointment every time. Why bother? Because it seems that these days, sex has lost its true intimacy. It’s sensuality. Sex has become…..well, just fucking, and a lot of us women, especially older women who remember how hard men used to have to work to get it, are out here pissed off, wondering what the hell happened.

Before I let a man jump up and down on me and I do not get mine, I’ll keep doing what I have been doing for the most part over the last few years……..making love to myself. Find somebody else’s daughter to disappoint and leave sexually frustrated and mad. I’m not a cheater, which is why I will leave. But every woman is not me, so I’m just trying to help some of y’all out.

Cause this flick a nipple, or lick a titty and then try to stick the dick in, isn't going to fly. It's selfish, and I can no longer deal with it. I won't deal with it. I am not a selfish lover and have never been. Either we will try to outdo each other in the bedroom and make it a competition, or I will respectfully resign from the race. If "Venus", ain't happy, Chloe's a bytch, and you don't want that!

Shout Out to the Pisces, Gemini, and Leo Lovers….because some of y’all still know what it is!

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Okay, two fingers to the sky…..Bye!