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So years ago, I was watching one of my favorite shows - Single GIRLS Spreading It Like Grey Poupon AKA SINGLE LADIES, the newest addition to the show, one month in, finds that the guy she's dating doesn't want kids. *Quiet.......quiet......pause.......side eye*
Um, I thought that was asked at the beginning of the vetting process, right along with views on marriage, do you smoke weed, pop pills, drink every day, ever had a same-sex relationship, last AIDS test, ever been burning, filed bankruptcy before, how many kids and baby daddies and mamas...etc. Soooo now she had to decide to be friends with a guy she saw as ideal. It was done immediately and abruptly. Of course, THAT is TV, where relationships come and go faster than a 15-year-old’s ejaculation off a Booty Talk 235 video. *Giving myself the side-eye off that one* Most, well maybe not most, but damn sure many, would be lying to themselves about the reality of things. When we meet someone with whom we can immediately connect in that unique way that we all as a human wish for, its especially common for us who are in a constant quest to find the one, to allow the twinkling in our eyes, not to mention the burning between our thighs, to place waivers on what we previously stood so firm on being our deal breakers, i.e., our non-negotiables. When we meet that person who, at least from the first assessment, seems to check off all the things we are at least physically and mentally attracted to, certain things also must be analyzed before we proceed any further. Some see it as getting too personal too quick. Sitting on my couch before dates three and four is getting personal too quick. Trying to shove your tongue down my throat while putting your left hand on my ass and the right on my breast the first time we go out is too quick. Me asking you if you ever had sex with another man or how many baby mamas you have, and if you snort coke, it can never come any quicker and no later than the initial phone conversation. This checklist includes crucial things about the person, for example, should they or do they not want children. Do you want any more than you already have if you have children? And for the ones that do not have kids and stay that they do not want any, asking why the first thing should be out your mouth. I mean, I have a daughter who is the center of my earth. I would have to weigh this person more heavily about their reasoning for being against having children. There is nothing wrong with that, but what kind of mother would I marry, saying, "I just never liked the little mutha fuckas?" THAT would be the LAST of our conversations. My child will not be "tolerated" just for the sake of having dick. Sadly, many women do. A non-negotiable is that I will never be anyone's "wifey" again. So I must know, do they or do they not wish to marry (where the word NO is increasingly becoming common among divorced people). I am not a bitter bitch, so I don't do the bitter negro either. Such are things that women tend to look past, believing that their pussy is a SNAPPER and can change his mind. Honey boom, that snapper will still be biting five years later, and you'll be no closer to changing his mind than getting Stevie J to stop dipping his dick in anything that bleeds once a month to settle down and be a new day Cliff Huxtable to Mimi. So my question is, how often do we give the person we meet who lets us know that they do not meet our non-negotiables a kiss on the forehead and immediately classify them as FRIENDS ONLY. How often do we halt in our tracks, not wasting each other’s time and keep it moving? Hmmm,OR, keeping it real - especially we women, how often do we instead say we hear and understand yet proceed to date them with a future in the back of our mind, anyway saying that a few dates won't hurt, we're just having fun right? Then find ourselves liking the dude lying to ourselves that either we can renegotiate our non-negotiables or possibly get him to change his? How often do we take the person we see having great potential at face value and walk away? The answer is simple. A lot less than we should. Because I am a testament that the longer you stay, the less chance you have of walking away. And let me tell you now.......I will be 52 in a few more months. This kitchen is closed, AND the oven is cold. Nothing will ever bake in this baby again. Chloe loves love loves the kids......she just shut down the baby-making business over 20 years ago. I made the perfect creation the first time. ;) Still, there is no more shacking going on around this part. I am not something you rent or lease. If you can't buy this, put a ring on it and change my last name......keep on window shopping. Now THAT is LOVE! Chloe
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