Letting Go Of Love HURTS!

A while back, I met a cool guy. He'd broken up with his girl/children's mother kind of recently and was going through the process of moving on. We talked on the phone from time to time....nothing major. I am super-duper apprehensive about those types of situations, so I was cool with the not talking all the time and just being "FRIENDS"! And I made it clear to him that being “FRIENDS" was definitely how we would start because they had been together for like 19 years. One day he asked what I was doing later, and I said nothing and that I had just really planned on chilling. He asked what I was cooking because I am always cooking. I told him I had not planned on doing so and that maybe I’d grab some wings later. Then, I asked him if he wanted to come through and chill on the spur of the moment. He said sure, showed up with 30 wings from my favorite spot, Dream Wings, a nice size bottle of Honey Jack, which he knows I love, Pineapple juice, and..........some cigars! We sat and laughed, watched some TV, then went and chilled on my patio, smoking cigars, sipping on Jack, listening to the bikes fly by, and just vibing hard for a few HOURS.

He hugged me tight at the door, sighed, and shook his head when he prepared to leave. He hadn't even pulled out of the parking lot before he texted me and said it was the best time, he'd had with a woman EVER! I admit it was phenomenal for me too. We continued to talk, as usual, text, phone calls...etc. Not every day, but a few times a week, but when we did, the conversation continued to become deeper and deeper. Me being me, I definitely loved it but again.....not even trying to take it there. We went out a few times, bowling, pool, to a Hawks game, to eat...and that crazy under the ground club that plays techno music by Dugan’s on Ponce. Then I start getting calls from an unknown number. I’d try to call back, and it wouldn’t take incoming calls. Me being me and my intuition, I mentioned it to him and told him the number. As I suspected, it was his kid’s mother. He apologized. No issues. No worries......we are just friends. I also am very understanding because I am a woman. BUT…I made the decision to tell him that maybe he needs to fully vet his situation with his ex because there apparently are some loose ends that needed to be tied up. He said he understood and agrees that their being together so long definitely means he still loves her, but he knows that they are not meant to be together, but she just doesn't want them to break up. I asked him whether he had tried to work it out. He said yes, multiple times but they've just grown apart and it will not work. He and I still would communicate occasionally, but not as much. Maybe text what's up, talk on the phone every few weeks. SOOO last night, I got a phone call from a different number I don't recognize. But it's HER! She wasn't nasty or meant or anything. She told me who she was, and I am just sitting there listening. She asks me about him, and I and I tell her nicely that we are just friends. She admits that they are broken up and have been for a while, she's been wanting to make it work but he won't try and she thinks it’s because of me because he's told her about ME! I tell her it can't be because he and I are just friends and that I don't even talk to him as much as I used to, and I even told him he should try to work things out if possible. Man, she was on my phone crying, wondering what was wrong with her because she's done everything she can, and she knows things are over, but she loves him so much, and they have kids together, and he's a great man, and she knows it, and that's why it's hard to let him go.

OMG! I kept telling her I understand but he and I are just friends. I was on the phone with her for about 15-20 minutes. When we got off, she thanked me for not going off on her and for calling me. Unlike most women, I am very compassionate, so I know a lot of you will be calling her a dumb b, she stupid, saying she needs to get over it....blah blah blah. But for me, I know how badly love can hurt being with someone for a few years, so I can't even imagine what it is like if you have been with a person as long as they have and have kids together. Love will make you do things you say you would never do, that is for sure. I didn't even call him last night afterward, but I guess she did because this morning at about 7, I saw that he started blowing up my phone. I told him we'd talk this evening, no biggie. He's like no, he needs to speak to me before then and is taking off to come to take me to lunch. I said NO because I didn't want to go back to work after a short convo. So, we agreed to be meeting up for dinner after work. I mean, I don't even know what we must talk about. I am not mad at him or her. I am a VERY understanding and compassionate person so her calling me didn't bother me like most. I even told him that on text. He responded, “SMH.....Woman, I don't know what I am going to do with you. See you this evening." Nineteen years, 2 kids. She's now 38. That’s half her life. Bless her heart because I know that starting over is hard! I truly said a prayer for her peace. All I know is that love hurts!

Being Chloe B