New Year - New Me!

This year, I am focused on getting myself into the best shape of my life physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. When I awakened this morning, January 5th, I prayed and meditated for God to remove all negativity, past and present, from my life. I asked that he reduce me and increase him in me.

I am also planning to date freely, and no one person gets all my attention until someone steps up and steps out to show me, he is WORTHY of who I am as a woman, and even then, it will be a longer vetting process. I am about to have FUN leading up to turning 55, and it's on ME to ensure it happens.

No more woe is me or carrying around stuff from the past that broke me. I have been living in denial and fear and holding myself back from receiving what God has for me. I won't do that anymore. I am manifesting and speaking nothing but positivity in the elements. I am focusing on positive thoughts, inviting positive energy ONLY, and praying to exude positive energy in my daily walk. I will create a notebook of personally written manifestations of things I will repeat aloud daily. No one except ME has been holding me back from getting what I deserve! I will not let anyone deter me from having what God has already deemed mine.

This morning, he showed me a vision for remodeling my house.

This morning, he showed me a vision for my life.

This morning, he showed me my purpose and spoke to me so clearly.

I've loved and filled others so much that I have neglected myself. I have been so concerned with making sure that others don't feel like I have felt all my life - used, unpretty, an outsider, not worthy, carrying around low self-esteem.....while have not TRULY taken the time needed to pour sincere LOVE into myself. I've accepted less, not genuinely believing I could receive more. I've let my growing age and the negativity that surrounds women - black women aging, beat at my self-confidence. At times, I've found myself mirroring and adjusting who I am to men's likes and dislikes instead of doing what makes ME feel good. That HAS stopped. If you can't see the AMAZING woman I am as I am, that's YOUR issue and not my cross to bear! You're not the one for me! I am no longer accepting subpar, half-behind efforts from ANYONE! Find someone else DAUGHTER to play with, not Clifford Castleberry, Jr., because if he had lived, he would not have allowed me to accept the BS that I have. THAT is MY daddy issue...I had a father who showed me a vision of what a man is supposed to be, and I allowed myself to stray from that. If you are NOT going to step up and be a MAN to me like I need you to be, don't bother.

I have reconciled my feelings about the tumultuous relationship with my mother that I rarely speak of out of respect for her. I have prayed to the heavens that she knows how much I love her and told her that I forgive her and hope she forgives me for the times I fell short. I've prayed that she is now at peace, that all things in the past are simply the past, and that I can stop obsessing and let go.

I have prayed to God to help me forgive myself for my many mistakes as a mother, especially since my daughter told me she forgives me. I still carry a lot of guilt, but this year, I will forgive myself and work even harder to ensure I give my child the best version of me she deserves from a mother.

I have asked God to impart even more compassion, grace, and understanding into me so that I don't judge others whose story I have no clue about but instead pray for them that they will receive whatever blessings, coverings, healings, or guidance that HE sees for them, i.e., decrease me and increase him in me. I have asked God to help me grow my channel in a way that will draw other sisters, especially to me, because they see the GOD in me yet understand that I am an imperfect human no less and that I'm just out here trying to live the best life that I can while I can. I pray to God to let me tell my life stories in a manner that will help others relate and freely open genuine and sincere dialogue that is freeing and healing in ways that I have no clue about.

I can FEEL God's favor, and 2025 IS beyond measure the YEAR of Change and Manifestation! I pray the same for ALL, and I mean it!

So yes, this is my NEW YEAR NEW ME POST! And it matters not what ANYONE else thinks about it. It's MY story to write and tell, not yours!

Happy New Year Friends!

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