Slowwwwww Down

This morning, I hopped up out of bed and immediately reached for my phone and slid the Instacart app to ON! Instantly it began to pop, and so I rushed to do my morning routine, scaled down, of course, hitting all the necessary spots - face, teeth, underarms, and coochie. I said my morning prayers between fixing coffee, caught a good lick on a Publix order, and was out the door. Within 20 minutes of getting out of bed, I was doing my weekend hustle, zipping all over the store, grabbing items for two customers at once. In between aisles I also managed to shop for myself and film a TikTok video (see here) as to why I increasingly better understand people staying together or getting married simply because the cost of living is staggering. The necessities to sustain a healthy life - shit, even an unhealthy one should not be so gosh darn stressful. I even stopped to check my blood pressure in the pharmacy because I was feeling so agitated.

Yet, although this second hustle for me is something I've done for going on four years now as a means of paying my credit card debt - which I am adamant that this year I'm getting under control - and also as my vacation money - I'm going to travel a hell of a lot more in 2024 so stay tuned ........today, as I was checking out, I spoke out loud to myself.

CLOLITA SLOWWWWW DOWN!

I'm sure people around thought I was talking to someone on the phone since I had my earbuds in. But I wasn't. I needed to say it out loud because I have had this conversation in my head many times, but now I felt like hearing myself speak it aloud might make it stick.

GIRL SLOW YOUR TAIL DOWN!

What usually is an easy process for me, for some reason, was taking longer than usual and somehow, I managed to add items to the wrong customer order while straightening it out, I knocked over my coffee, spilling half the contents onto the floor! Do you know how hard it is to find the butter pecan creamer? It is not to be wasted! Not one single drop. Slooooowwww down!

Then, to add insult to injury, I mistakenly gave my second customer one of my first customer's bags. Thankfully, she was kind enough to message me and tell me before I had gotten far away and both drop-offs were close. I spun the block and was able to right my wrongs before I received a bad rating. Slowwwwww down!

It's only been recently that I have learned to make myself stop, sometimes in the middle of what I'm doing, and either just breathe, or more often than ever, all together and want away. Depending on what it is, unless it has to be done, I will start to prioritize what I have to do based on the level of importance. This is both professionally and personally. I'm also learning to say no more than ever and not worry or feel guilty about doing it. I owe myself the beauty of sanity which for a very long time I truly thought I was losing. Trying to do too much and be everywhere at once, not to mention everything to everyone will have you believing you are in the early stages of dementia or Alzheimer's. Slowwwwww down. Allow your mind to cycle through one thing at a time. If not, you'll experience sensory overload.

Not slowing down has been very costly for me over the years. I've been in multiple car accidents, popped tires, ran out of gas, twisted ankles, caused my knee to slip out of joint, nearly chopped off fingers, blacked my eye, and destroyed countless things just because I was in too much of a hurry. Even the need to splurge or buy things that truly aren't necessary stems from the need to SLOWWWWW DOWWWWWN!

These days we feel pressured by society to do so much as soon as our feet touch the ground. Out of fear of missing out on something or not being the first to be in the know, they rush through life merely scanning, reacting, and going on to the next thing. But are we really living and basking in our wins and accomplishments, or are we simply existing as we ride waves through life jumping from one thing to the next?

Each time a memory shows up on Facebook or Timehop, it always seems like it happened last year or the year before, and not five years ago. Or, even events that happened a year ago, seem to have only occurred within the last six months. It's all given me pause, as it should. I refuse to continue to zip through life as if I am shoving food into my mouth and swallowing without taking the time to chew and savor the flavor. Each time I feel myself blazing through the day I am committed to stopping, taking some slow and steady breaths, figuring out if whatever it is that I am in the process of doing is as important as I am making it out to be, and regardless of whether it is or not......I am training myself to..........Sloooooowwwwing DOWN!

Love ya!

Chloe