The Complications of Multiple Variations of "SHIPS"

Are all the variables on possible "situations" you can be in with someone making love and relationships even MORE complicated than ever?

I mean you have:

True RELATIONSHIPS where folks actually claim one another and state publically, "Yes, this my woman....this my man. We are in a monogamous."

Then you have what appears to increasingly become antiquated .....that thing called MARRIAGE. You know it's that thing where people actually profess to the world that they want to officially document they plan to be together forever. Now don't forget there are two versions of it because GOD doesn't have to be involved in it these days. You can do it W/God......or you can do it W/O him via a CIVIL ceremony, but they are both legal and she can actually change her last name to match his. Or add his to hers if she wishes. Or hell, she can just keep her last name he keeps his. Wait, or she can keep hers and hers, or he keeps his and his.

Now comes the uber confusing part - the variety of SITUATIONships. These come attached to extenuating circumstances. For example, he's been separated for years from his wife and now lives with another woman but is in no rush to absolve the actual marriage.

"Why are you tripping. Don't we live together?"

Or she kicked him out and is now seeing someone else but is being vindictive and won't sign the papers cause she wants to make him miserable. Or, they may have broken up, but still, act like they are together. Baby Daddy still hitting Baby Mama and they are doing things as a family, but both see other people with whom they are "supposed" to be in RELATIONSHIPS. There are too many to name in this type of SITUATIONships.

Open Relationships/Marriages: I still can't wrap my mind around these still. We are together in a relationship but you can see and sleep with other people just as long as you continue to claim you are with me and I come first. Guess it's not for me to understand.

Lifestyle: Let's just get together and have one big party and do everybody we see that we want to do. One at a time. Two at a time. Three at a time. Girl/Girl. Girl/Girl/Boy. Boy/Girl/Boy. Boy/Girl/Boy/Girl. Girl/Girl/Girl/Girl/Boy. Ah hell, let's just get to it.

Swing: "Your wife is c

ute." "Yeah, and your wife is cute." "Cool. You do my wife and I'll do your wife." "You're gonna watch me do your wife?" "Yep, you gonna watch me do YOUR wife?" "Yep!" "GREAT! You wanna film it too?" "Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure. WHY NOT!" - Oh boy.

FWB: These are true blue friends that hang out and kick it and have a great time together, get tipsy then go home and perform bedroom gymNASTYics. If they want to get up and go home fine, but if they spend the night nobody is jumping up and grabbing bath towels asking, "You gonna take a shower before you go home?" They talk on the phone and text each other all the time discussing who else they are seeing, how their dating life is going, who they've met new and they will even introduce them to people they are seeing, often under the guise of being on of their best friend. Sometimes they joke about becoming more but one or both fear destroying their "friendship".

Cut Buddies - Don't call each other. Don't keep a regular schedule. May not speak for weeks or months. With them, they just every so often text the other and says: "What you up to?" "You busy?" "You should come through." "Where you at." "You gone come give me some." And the response is: "What time you gone be home?"

Side Pieces: Miss New Booty that he lets know up front he has a woman and she is cool with it. She feels like she is the winner in the situation because she gets the D, but not doesn't have to deal with the relationship issues. Many claims they are cool with this and often times start catching feelings and start acting out, calling his phone when he knows he's home. Playing on his woman's phone and tries to leave hickeys on his neck. Many, but not all are ratchet ......totally different from the Mistress which is coming up.

Wifey: She's his main chick gunning for the engagement ring. She's putting in work trying to do all that she can to lock him down. She's cooking sucking and __ing on demand. They have been living together for years. He loves her, but oftentimes she will give him ten years not wanting to put too much pressure on him just biding her time, then they will break up and six months later he's married. Just that simple.

Sooooo, the days of the simple boy meets a girl. Boy likes girl. Boy calls girls. Boy asks girl to go out. Boy and girl really like each other, start dating, falls in love, get engaged and marry.......um, that is like expecting Edward J to not talk on his cassette tape. That's like expecting to see a 1986 Columbia Talent show without a dance crew Yeeking. That is like expecting me not to walk through South Dekalb Mall in 1987 in biking shorts. That is like saying Captain Fat didn't have any base in his Chevy 1500 with the gold daytons. That is like saying NOBODY went to Al's Pizza after the softball games at True Love Park. That's like saying girls from Decatur were not always the hottest commodity in the ATL! lol. That is like saying Mays and Doug haven't had the biggest football rivalry in the ATL since...FOREVER! Like Morris Brown band didn't make all the other bands HAVE A SEAT before the term HAVE A SEAT was even said.